Found on MM:
Being a wingman is not about picking up at all….your mindset is totally different, your purpose is different, and at times your identity could be totally different.
So what makes a good wingman? This article is directed at PUA’s and wingmen alike and the idea of this article is to advise on winging rules, both stated by various PUA’s around the globe as well as my own interpretations and additional rules to introduce into your own game. Furthermore, I have endeavoured to explain various winging techniques and theories that apply to sarging.
Purpose of being a wingman
As a wing….you just need to distract the obstacle/s so that the PUA can isolate the target. That’s it. That’s all that is required of you. This is the most important rule that sets the stage for all other wingman guidelines….so learn it first.
I have seen, many a time, a wingman enter set and then sarge the obstacles as though he had opened the set. Its unbelieveable….and wrong. I admit sometimes even the best of PUA’s fall in to this trap. The mindset you carry throughout a sarge begins to become habit and when you enter set as a wing you make the error of sarging the obstacles. Most of the time when you go out sarging this would seem like normal behaviour….”Im opening….My target is the blonde…”….”Ok, Ill sarge the brunette…” Unfortunately this is not the same as distracting the obstacles….
That’s the idea…..to distract the obstacles so the PUA can isolate his target. That’s the whole point on being a wingman. By you sarging the obstacle….you are not correctly isolating. Why? Simple….if your sarging the obstacle her protection shield will kick into gear. Women sense when you are hitting on them and then they search for their comfort zone. She will then stick to her friend/s (the target) like glue. That’s when the PUA smacks you across the back of the head and says “You were supposed to help me isolate…”
Now clearly this may not be an attractive scenario. Why would anyone want to be a wingman if he cant sarge? To a certain extent I agree. The best way to beat this is by being patient…don’t have patience? Bad Luck….get some…or sooner or later no one will want you as their wingman. Patience is required. First you distract the obstacles. Wait for the PUA to isolate. Once he does that, you are isolated with the obstacle and can then proceed to game her as normal.
Techniques to Enter Set
First of you all as a wing, you need to wait for the hook point before you enter the set. Once the PUA has reached the hook point, then proceed. Sometimes you may need to wait longer, as the PUA may not need you or come in sooner, if an AMOG tries to interfere with the PUA. Generally though, wait for the hook point before going in set.
The three most popular ways on entering sets are as follows:
“Were you guys just talking about” – Style’s method
After a PUA has reached the hook point, the wing now approaches set and directs his question at the PUA…
Wing: Were you guys just talking about…… (this is where the PUA cuts his thread)
PUA: Yeh…how girls lie more than guys….these girls didn’t believe me…BLAH BLAH
From here the PUA updates the wing on what they have discussed (not in too much detail otherwise it looks suss….DER!).
“Have you seen Michelle?” – Toecutter’s method
This technique is genius. It works excellent especially for wings who enter set from afar.
Wing: Hey man, have you seen Michelle?
PUA: Nah, haven’t for a while…(the wing will start to walk off but the PUA then grabs him and says)…hey hang here, I want you to meet these girls. This is Tina and Tanya.
Wing: Hi Girls, Im Wing. Pleasure to meet you.
PUA: Yeh we were just talking about how girls lie more than guys….BLAH BLAH
A little twist that I use....sometimes its not the right time for the wing to enter…or I don’t need a wing. In that case I will say:
Wing: Hey man, have you seen Michelle?
Malibu: Yeh…She is over by the bar…
Wing: Cool…thanks man.
That way the Wing knows that I don’t need a wingman.
Wing: Hey man, have you seen Michelle?
Malibu: Umm…I think she just ducked off to the toilet upstairs…you might find her there.
Wing: Cool…thanks man.
This way, the wing knows that I don’t need a wing yet, but I might in about 5-10 minutes.
You can setup all sorts of code words with your wingmen to communicate what you want to.
Accomplishment Intro – Mystery’s Method
This entering technique is pretty simple and allows the PUA to carry on running the show. Simply have your Wingman walk up to the set and the PUA gives him the best introduction to the set as he can:
PUA: Hey Guys, this Wing…he is (insert accomplishment here)
Girls: Ohhhhhh….ahhhhhh….oh my! Wow!....
Ok that last bit was exaggerated but you get the drift!
This technique is great because sets the frame that you are more into your wing than the girls. It also gives you high value for hanging out with a cool guy and thus more attractive to the set.
Then, as usual, update him on what you've been chatting the chicks about.
What not to say….
Never, ever, ever , ever use an opener when entering set. Say the PUA opens with who lies more. Then a wing enters. Later another two obstacles join the set, so you think to enter as a second wing to distract the second set of obstacles and you go in with who lies more as well….guess what…you have just blown the set. Don’t go in with any openers especially opinion openers. Openers in general will reset the mood towards you as the wing and often you will find that the targets attention will start drifting more to you and doesn’t allow the PUA to game his target correctly. Don’t ever especially use DHV routines. Similar to using openers it may affect the PUA’s ability to sarge his target correctly. As a wing, all you need to do is support your man. So don’t say anything that will draw attention away from him. Agree with him, put in your 2 cents, but let him run the sarge.
A big no no is sexual innuendo. Don’t ever start talking naughty in set as a wing. The risks are 1. you may blow both you and the PUA out of set as the girls may not like what you are talking about and 2. If the girls don’t mind a bit of sex talk, once again it diverts their attention from the PUA and onto you.
Entering a set as a wing
In my experience thus far I’ve noticed two requirements for a wing to enter a set. Firstly, as a PUA, you don’t want to stagger or break communication with the set you open. You want the set to flow through the attract phases without being interrupted or have the chance to be interrupted or intruded upon. For instance, if your running a routine and then turn and call your wing over….that brief moment that you turn your back can be critical and it allows a moment were the target/obstacles can think “do I really want to be in this conversation?” which you don’t want. It also allows any AMOGs to intrude with a higher amount of energy than you. You don’t want that. It is up to the wing to enter the set. The PUA must never break or stagger communication.
In saying that it is also critical for the wing not stagger communication when entering the set. It is for that reason that as a wing you allow your partner (the PUA who opened the set) to verbally bring you into conversation. You need only be at the right place at the right time. Enter the set at the right moment and allow the PUA to introduce you to the set.
Secondly, you need energy. In the example above I mentioned that the AMOG could come in with more energy than you. The wing needs to enter with a high amount of energy…but not higher energy than the PUA who opened the set. Often picking the critical moment when and how to enter can increase or decrease chances of success.
Countless times I have seen wings enter set with way too much energy and destroy the set. As a wingman, know your energy levels, and if you need to tone down your energy levels then do it accordingly for each PUA you wing. Sometimes the energy level may not only differ from PUA to PUA but also from set to set. Therefore make a habit of analysing the sets you enter before you enter them and learn how to read energy levels. This may take some practice but can be a very important point to remember.
He who opens the set, owns the set
This is probably seen as the number one rule between PUA and his wingman/men. However, let me stress….you must open the set….correctly….if you wish to own the set. Winking and poking your tongue at your target to gain her attention before opening does not constitute opening a set. Nor does using banter lines or one line ice breakers. Similarly if you have used an opener on a set but have been blown out, in my opinion you have not correctly opened so you do not own the set. For you to successfully own any set you must first open correctly and reach the hook point. Refer to my post “Have you opened that set yet?” for further details. Wingmen should not be entering into a set until the PUA has reached the hook point. Once the hook point is reached the wing can then enter set.
Never ever steal the target
This is one of the most important rules. Never steal the target. End of story. Do not use game tactics on the target either. I have seen guys sarging as wings and they run DHV routines on the target right after they have entered set. Umm…hello? No. Don’t do this. Let the PUA who is running the sarge work the material…you are the wing. Support him.
I have, however, been in sets where the target becomes attracted to one of my wings. Similarly , I have been a wing and the target has begun to direct her IOI’s toward me. So what do you do? Change targets? In these instances, it should be discussed with the PUA who opened the set as to what should happen there after. As the PUA who opened the set your inner game should be solid enough not get fussed over whether or not a target is attracted to one of your wings or not. If you do get upset over then this will only cause harm to your mindset and it risks every set you try to open thereafter. Approach a situation like this in a mature fashion. After all…women do make their own choices and what they feel should count as well. Its not always about you!
Not specifying the target
If a PUA opens a set, Never steal the target. In saying that, as a PUA who opens the set it is up to you to let your wingmen know who the target is.
How many wings do you need?
2sets – Alone or with a wing?
With 2 sets I often don’t need a wing at all. I like the challenge of taking on two girls. What I will then do is DHV to both of them. Firstly, to attract my target, and secondly to befriend the obstacle…then I mentally isolate my target and go for a number close or time bridge or both. This is more for advanced gamers so most of the time you may need a wing to help you isolate the target.
There are two ways that you can go about this….entering with your wing, which is not recommended or entering alone and then your wing joins you as normal. If you go into an 2set with your wing. Your wing will then run immediate interference on the obstacle while you work the target. However, if your wing cant keep it up, when the obstacle then begins to loses interest and starts to cling to her friend and more than likely she will try and take her away, whether the target likes you or not. Furthermore, the obstacle will think that the PUA is as of low value as she thinks the wing is.
Now when you enter the set alone, you work the target and befriend the obstacle. That way the obstacle knows you are of high value. When you bring your wing in…you use the Accomplishment Intro so that your wing gains some credibility. The obstacle will more than likely trust your friend since you are now of high value to her, your wing will equally be of value. That way there is less chance that the obstacle will pull the target away from you when you isolate.
When you have multiple obstacles generally you may need more than one wing. However it depends from situation to situation.
FFM 3set – For this set you only need one wing. When you isolate your wing will occupy the girl and guy without any trouble. The girl wont feel like she is being hit on when she is in the company of a male friend so there is little chance that the target will be pulled away.
FFF 3set – One wing can be used for this set, however if the wing begins to sarge one of the girls, the other girl may get bored and interfere with the target. In this instance the wing will have broken away in his own set with 2 girls and will need to pull in a second wing of his own. If no other wings are available…DON’T SARGE THE OBSTACLES.
FFFF 4 set – 2 wings required. Bring one in first and then allow the wing to bring in the second wing after the set is comfortable with him.
5-6 sets – 2 wings will be required. However, I would bring them both in at the same time after you have sarged the entire group.
7 sets and beyond – depending on the structure and logistics of the set, you will need 2-3 wings…never bring in 3 wings at the same time. Let 2 come in first and then the 3rd can join shortly after. In saying that however if you have any pivots or pawns (female friends) you can merge sets and that will allow you to isolate well.
Wing before Women
This is something that almost every aPUA forgets. As discussed your job as a wing is to support the PUA. You need to be living proof that your friend is a great guy. I’ve seen some wings, who in set decide they want to be humorous and funny, so they start making jokes directed toward the PUA.
The PUA and the wing are a partnership. You wing each other when you sarge. That’s why you always, always, always put “Wing before Women”. Your wing is more important to you than a girl you just met. And if he is not then you’re putting the girl on a pedestal, which translates into an inner game issue.
* Never disagree with your wing in set
* Always respect your wing in set
* Never under any circumstances make jokes directed at or ridiculing your wing
* Never argue with your wing.
* Never call your wing names
* You should try to brag (not too much) about your wing in set. This shows that he is a cool guy.
* Your wings feelings are more important than the girls you just met.
Bear in mind that this mentality ONLY applies either at the meeting location or until after a lot of comfort has been built. If you have been seeing a girl for a week and invested a lot of time into her, if you still carry the “bros before hoes” mentality then you will find that she will lose trust in you and it will become harder to close her.
Different Styles of winging
This is something I feel strong about. As I said previously winging is an art form almost as much as being a PUA in itself. I realized that each one of us has a different style of winging game as we do our normal PU style of game.
One night, a while ago when I was still breaking into the PU scene, I was with Whisper and Mystic at the Opera Bar under Sydney’s Infamous Opera House. We were meeting up with another aPUA whom we hadn’t met before. It was the second time I had met a fellow rAFC from the community other than my wings. I noticed it more that night….our games are different...totally different....so apart from the usual wing men rules we needed to be winged differently.
Mystic was running game on a two set by the bar with Whisper winging. Mystic's set crumbled in a way he didn’t want it to. It seems that when Whisper was winging he actually amogged Mystic without even realizing it. However when whisper wings me in the same way....it actually boosts my own game and thus boosts my alpha male status in the group.
It can be said that a wing's game is different to the the PUA's game....and it changes from PUA to PUA.
My game is calibrated in one way for whisper to wing type 1...however if whisper wings Mystic....well mystics game is different to mine and he needs to be winged type 2......
The moral of the story is that ever wing needs to calibrate his winging game to suit the PUA he is winging, just as much as we need to calibrate our own game.
Sarging with an AFC as your wing
I have always had a top wing. I started GAME with him and he is always a top wing for me. Mid january last year another mate of mine, Whisper...actually he has been my friend since we were 11...decided to get in the game. I went through this whole phase of training him and teaching him about game and I realise that everyone has a different winging style just the same that every one has a different pick up style.
What I learned is thatif you are sarging with an AFC... YOU need to change your style to suit the way he wings. Go out with whoever you want to wing you and learn how he socialises, his moves, everything he does infront of men, women, dogs and cats!...Use his strengths (and weaknesses) and slightly alter your gaming style to suit.
What happens when your wingman’s game breaks down?
From time to time it may occur where your wing’s game will break down, or he will not be distracting the obstacles enough for you, or he may not be distracting the obstacles at all! Most of us would more than likely stop sarging, or turn away briefly and start running strategy and criticism on your wing trying to correct him or figure out why it has occurred. Doing this never gets good results because you are destroying the mood of the set and your own mindset.
Furthermore, it is also bad because your are making your wing look and feel beta. This will lower his confidence in set and only force his game to breakdown further. Therefore you should always avoid giving advice to your wingman in-field, and save it for after the sarge. Taking advice is required though during any other activity. This will be effective, because the advice is helpful and allows preparation for the next sarging session. Besides, you should realize that the small amount of strategy that you can discuss will not change your wingman's game enough in such a short period of time to effect substantial change in his game. So just take a breather go have a game of pool and start again once both you and your wing have returned to full alpha status.
What happens if you do something wrong in set?
If you are in set as a wing and begin saying anything of the above, and the attention is drawn to you, expect the PUA to start AMOGing you himself. If you risk blowing out the set then he may need to inorder to recover. If that happens, exit the set straight away…DO NOT try and amog the PUA to make yourself look good…just get out and allow another wing to enter the set.
Wingmen Rules and Guidelines
In conclusion let’s have a look at the necessary rules required for a good wingman.
1. The wing’s purpose is to distract the obstacles so the PUA can isolate his target and support the PUA.
2. He who opens the set, owns the set – which means a hook point must be reached.
3. Wait for the hook point before you enter the set.
4. Never Steal the target – ensure a target is called.
5. Never break or stagger communication.
6. Enter with high energy levels, but never higher than the PUA.
7. Don’t sarge the set – you’re a wing. Never use an opener, DHV routine/s, sexual innuendo.
8. Wing before Women – never say anything that will DLV the PUA.